Now, I’ve heard everything. I’ve expressed my views about the intelligence of the great majority of the American population before ( that doesn’t apply to you, Bill, Craig, Christina, Jonathan, Kevin, Alex or Cathy or any other US Citizens who I know personally and may well be reading this ) and the fact that they elected an idiot like Trump , although none of the aforementioned voted for him ( a dangerous idiot mind and one whose village certainly doesn’t want him back ) pretty much speaks for itself. You may recall the film “ Dumb and Dumber “ and now the State of Missouri has the accolade of King Dumbest ( or are US States feminine? ) Miss Ouri, yes, I suppose it is. So it’s Queen Dumbest then. In case you missed this item amongst all the boring headlines it seems that there is now a law suit. The State of Missouri v The People’s Republic of China. And no, you haven’t misread that even though it sounds like a sketch from Monty Python.
Even for a litigious nation like the USA this is actually totally off the wall. I mean they sue their doctors, their lawyers, their food and drug companies, but China?? Seems the claim is based on the grounds that poor little China ( when America is concerned you even end up feeling sorry for China and regard it as an under-dog ( if the Chinese haven’t eaten all the dogs under ones or otherwise) failed to take enough measures to prevent the spread of the virus. Not quite sure what they could have done. Build an extension to The Great Wall ? Speaking of which, I remember when West Bromwich Albion Football Club toured China years ago and were invited to see the Wall one of the players declined. He said that his dad was a brickie and if you’d seen one wall then you’d seen them all. ( I will get round to footballers and their reaction to the Big V but not yet awhile. It is my main business and I’m not sure I want to commit professional suicide just yet )
I will follow the litigation with interest. I mean if it succeeds it could be open season. Mel Stein v The People’s Republic of China claiming damages for deprivation of pot-noodles and chocolate digestive biscuits. I don’t do litigation myself, but I reckon one of my lawyer friend readers would jump at the chance of taking that one on a contingency basis ( that means you don’t pay but the lawyer takes anything up to about 90% of what you get…. You’ve seen the adverts. Never do it and that’s my legal advice for free. But enough of this American obsession with China. Let’s just accept the country is responsible for everything and move on.
It’s quite amazing the nonsenses going around right now. Makes my idea of the anti-viral suit made out of newspaper ( or any other printed material so I am still working on the waterproof aspect ) seem quite sane. With the Government rejecting so many offers to manufacture PPE’s and face masks etc I did put my idea to them as well, but they haven’t answered me yet either. I may try to get a question asked in the House about it.
So, suing a Sovereign State, turning down offers to get equipment that’s vitally needed and there, amongst all the debris of news is that fact that Keira Knightley, yes, the Keira Knightley the movie star, not somebody called Ethel Rancid who has changed her name by deed poll to Keira Knightley ( well, you would wouldn’t you? ) has posted a video on You Tube of herself playing “ Yesterday “ on her teeth. It’s probably better than the Lennon and McCartney version, but still, why would you do that? She’s also done a version of “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head “ ( don’t look for the pun or joke there because there isn’t one.) She’s simply taken the time out of her busy day to post these selfie videos. I mean you wouldn’t get somebody to film you doing it, would you? I suppose though she is a movie star so she may have gathered together a whole production team and got it sponsored by Sensodyne or Colgate ( don’t think she’s one to miss commercial opportunities ) Perhaps she can go on to a whole album, maybe something classical like Beethoven’s 5th, you know how your dentist always calls out to his assistant the number of your teeth as he checks your mouth. 2nd Upper. 3rd Lower. There could be bite-size versions of all those classics played on the teeth ( that was a joke in case you missed it ) She could even do “ China in Your Hand “ the old song by T’Pau ( bet you don’t know that group either Isabella, mind you I know most of my readers and I guess they don’t either ) and dedicate it to Trump and his fellow eccentrics ( that’s a kindly description ) in the White House (whoops nearly Yellow House there) and the legal genius running the case on behalf of the State of Missouri.
I meant to talk about the price of oil yesterday and got carried away ( wish I could be of course ) and forgot. It seems that they are paying people to take oil right now as they have nowhere to store it. ( seems Trump and Farage have bought a fair bit to put on their hair ) but not enough. I thought this might be a good investment, but I didn’t know how to buy it so I went on Amazon. Oil producers are paying something like 67 dollars to people to take a barrel. Amazon was charging 100 dollars a barrel in line with their Big V policy of quadrupling the price of everything! And they weren’t doing free deliver either. You had to provide your own tanker it seems. I checked tankers on Amazon as well but they were out of stock.
We are all using Amazon now. I mean without it we’d be up the river without a boat or a paddle ( that’s another little joke given minus one billion by my Grandson ) In fact it’s the only place I am spending money apart from Sainsburys. But, life and existence is fragile and I did think this morning whilst walking on my squeaky treadmill and wondering if I could get just a teensy bit of that oil with which to grease it, what would be the worst that could happen ( apart from catching The Big V of course ) ? Would it be my mobile phone giving up the ghost ( it’s already struggling from over -work ) the dishwashers packing it in or my Sky Box needing repair or replacement. I think I might welcome the fact that I don’t have to field fifty calls and two hundred emails a day, could probably return to washing up by hand, but the Sky Box. Utterly dependent on that. And there’s just so much that’s good to watch and it’s not the same watching on your i-Pad or phone ( forgot that in this dystopian world I don’t have the phone anymore )
Finished off “ Unorthodox “ on Netflix last night. Superb viewing. Next episode of “ Run “ tonight, not started new series of “ Killing Eve “ yet ( thought Villanelle had done that at the end of the last series so maybe should be re-named “ Not Killing Eve “ and am really looking forward to “ The Gangs of London” which starts on Thursday to fill my “ Peaky Blinders “ viewing violence void ( nice alliteration there and I hope you appreciated it )
It’s strangely quiet out there as I type. Not even any good domestic arguments to listen to. Mind you, what would be the point?
“ That’s it. I’m done. I’m out of here. “
“ Oh, really and where are you going to ?
“ I’m leaving.”
“ Ok , and where is your final destination? The shed at the bottom of the garden ? “
Just a final thought about unusual instruments ( no segue or link , just a random thought that crossed my mind ) Keira is playing on her teeth ( doesn’t she know that all the dentists are closed if something goes terribly wrong ) Charlie Watts was playing his wi-drums ( have you found out what they are yet? ) and I saw some guy on some obscure tv programme playing the spoons. Somebody asked me the other morning where I get my ideas from for this blog and then went on to tell me the story that in churches in Italy they are still passing spoons from mouth to mouth when taking the sacrament. I said dying with a sacrament spoon in your mouth probably beats being born with one in it. But then the guy spoiled the story by saying they disinfect the spoon every time. I was going to leave that out as I’ve sort of become a journalist and don’t like the truth to get in the way of a good story. But, too late for that. And too late for me to carry on rambling. Lots to do today, lots of places not to go, lots of things not to buy.
See you all tomorrow if we are spared and keep safe and reading. Oh, by the way Anthony and Andrea I can now see any comments that are posted. I can acknowledge them by sending a little heart, but I still can’t figure out how to respond with words. That’s my challenge for the day. As if each day didn’t have its own challenges