Every morning my wife asks me what my plans are for the day. That’s only after she’s received her coffee in bed ( made by me as the butler is furloughed ) and had a go at the Times Crossword and the Word Puzzle. And every day I tell her because there are no secrets in our house. Or anybody’s house right now, I am thinking. Forget this app they are talking about. We all know where everybody is 24/7 unless the lifestyles of my readers differs from my own. So today I told her I had two calls at 9.15 and 9.30 ( which in fact turned into four calls and five emails ) a long Microsoft team board meeting between 11.30am-1.00pm, a break for lunch then two more zoom meetings at 3pm and 4 pm and a conference call at 5pm and a final zoom meeting at 6.30 which I was just going to facilitate because virtual play-time which my grand-daughter in the bath is more important and we have a hot date for that at 6.30pm every day. So, she said, I won’t be seeing much of you today. I am not sure if that was an accusation or a verbal sigh of relief.
But, then I got around to thinking how little my life has changed ( and how much as well I suppose ) I used to get up at the crack of dawn ( still do that ) dash into town for back to back meetings with a lunch at Tibits ( my fav veggie place in the West End ) or indeed a lunch meeting at Tibits ( or even more indeed back to back meetings at Tibits…. they would reserve my favoured window table for me every day and only give it away if I wasn’t there by noon… which I usually was ) … and then at the end of the day I’d come home exhausted or flop into an expensive theatre seat ( after another snack at Tibits…. I was a really good customer and always got 10% off for my loyalty which went straight back into the Piggy Tips Box ( bit odd for a veggie restaurant I always thought ) and fall asleep or leave at the interval either because the play was rubbish or we were too tired and there was no point in extending the agony. So, apart from saving £50-75 a ticket on plays of which I rarely got to the end , no real change. Except I am still exhausted at the end of the day, but a little better off financially having bought no meals, paid no Congestion Charge and not wasted my money on a play I knew I shouldn’t have bothered to see after it had got a one star review in The Times.
Just reading what I’ve got on today makes me feel tired ( so apologies if blog is little shorter than usual ) but maybe if the NHS read it they may classify me as less vulnerable and I’ll be able to go about my business. In fact, I think somebody from the NHS must be reading my blog and that I’ve upset them. Because they’ve stopped sending me text messages. It’s either that or they’ve run out of ideas to share as to how I while away my days in isolation ( not that I really need their ideas as you will have noted from today’s activities ) I mean, if you recall they did come up with some original crackers, like opening a window ( if you keep opening and shutting you can while away a happy twenty minutes or so ) or calling a friend ( I’ve called my Bromance pals so often I’ve run out of things to say and when they hear my voice they make a hurried excuse and rush off to comb or wash their hair or plait their eyebrows ) or play sudoku ( for which they gave no instructions whatsoever , so I stare blankly at a little square half-filled with numbers and wonder if there is some kind of secret code. Come on back guys. I never thought I would say this, but I miss your cheery little messages of encouragement and hope.
And I am going to miss “ Homeland “ ( Clunky link that but it’s all I could think of and I have to mention “ Homeland “ as I forgot to do so yesterday as I was so obsessed with my picture hook, my wife by the way has found a spare space on my wall for the Jane Russell/The Outlaw poster so that’s going up today ) Still working on how to post photos. Back to “Homeland “ After ten years and 97 episodes it deserves more than a throwaway line from me . Saul ad Carrie had become part of my life and not sure how I will replace them. Mind you, I said the same about Don Draper from “ Mad Men“ and “ Dexter “ from “ Dexter “ and Joe Grundy in “The Archers “ But life goes on, I guess.
So, I have to find other series with which to get obsessed. I do get obsessed very easily, I fear. Several friends recommended “ Blood “ on Channel 5 with the wonderful Adrian Dunbar from “ Between the Lines “ I pointed out that they’d just watched the second series and they said it didn’t matter. But, it matters to me so have started with Series One and it’s every bit as good as they said, only I will have my requisite one-upmanship that comes from watching the entire programme. Thus, if any of you never watched “ Homeland “ or gave up after a few series ( and I knew a few less hardy characters who did, well, less hardy than us, anyway ) you could start now. It will only take you about 4 days of 24/7 viewing and it’s job done
It's certainly not job done for poor Matt Hancock. Now, when this whole business started I had never heard of him. Apart from Bojo and the Rabbi who stood in for him ( could never understand why he opted out of the long black coat, big hat and ringlets so maybe Dominic wasn’t a Rabbi after all ) and the Pretty Woman ( who isn’t and isn’t a song by Roy Orbison either …. 1960’s music reference there Isabella aged 94 ) I still can’t name a politician. I avoid them by not watching the news as you know and I run for cover to the Chris Evans Breakfast Show. Today, there was no escape. Matt Hancock was his guest and I now not only know he is the Health Minister but, of far more importance, that he, likes me supports Newcastle United without being born there . And has a signed Newcastle shirt on his wall which is one up on my Barnet effort I suppose.
I also forgot to mention the statue of the jockey in my room, but as they are bringing back horse-racing in France on Monday ( hurrah, more options as to where to spend my money ) I thought I would give the chap a mention in passing. I have described him briefly before, but on closer inspection he has a bunch of lanyards around his neck from The Ashes Test Matches in Australia a copy of years ago ( no idea why I keep them as embarrassing for England… though I do urge you to watch “ The Kangaroo Song “ sung by The Barmy Army on You Tube). He also proudly bears my back stage lanyard for a Springsteen gig and a visit to Universal Studios . Did you realise that the house where they filmed Friends isn’t real ? ) Mind you, I hated Friends and its stars are so much better in other things. In fact none of the houses on the lots where they film all the shows are real. There is nothing beyond the facades. Bit like my life at the moment. )
Anyway, all my meetings call so a bit shorter than usual this morning. Readers keep popping up in the oddest of places. One of my young players tells me his parents are big fans so thank you Jamie. You got a mention . Gave a mention to my Cotswolds neighbours Steve and Jo yesterday and actually spoke to them on the phone. Told them I would ring after lunch. They told me that up North that was dinner time. Said I would ring at tea-time. They said that was supper. Just wondering if a breakfast call might be safer next time. But then I’d have to miss Chris Evans who is my only access to what is going on in the world . How sad is that?
Stay safe and see you all tomorrow if we are spared