Settle down, children. Have you signed in to the register? Stop looking out of the window, stop shuffling your feet, put down your rulers and the next one of you who throws an ink pellet at anybody is going into detention. And you, boy, you’re late, write your name on the board and see me at the end of the lesson. And by the way, today’s lesson is about nostalgia and Death. No, I am not getting morbid, nor is there anything I need to tell you about my current state of health. Although, my eyes aren’t great today. Really sticking when I woke up, and the arthritis in my hand isn’t great either and my knee is aching after half an hour on the treadmill ( my exercise bike still isn’t working properly and I can’t find any instruction book ) Mind you, if I did find it and read it and tried to implement it that would be a first in my life. My back is aching too as I’ve had to move my Mac nearer to me as my eyes are so bad and consequently I am crouching over it to be able to type this with my arthritic hand. But, you haven’t opened this to hear about my troubles. I guess you have troubles of your own, although please don’t share them with me. I can share with you the number of The Samaritans that NHS sent me if you like, though.
Before I get back to nostalgia and Death ( it’s not for nothing this blog is called Mel’s Meanderings…. Though my son discovered when he was looking for yesterday’s to be able to read the Press coverage of his baking triumph, that there is another one out there under the same name) I have to mention that even as I am typing ( in great pain I may add through blurred eyes knowing my readers will appreciate my sacrifice ) that I’ve another text from NHS Coronavirus Service ( I am going to suggest they shorten that title as it will never sell ) Maybe to “The Big V Daily News.” Much catchier. Today’s advice was to set up a daily schedule every Monday. That’s not much use to me today as it’s Wednesday and I’ve missed my slot ( story of my Big V life, supermarkets and now schedules ) Anyway, I do have a daily schedule which includes this blog, only the NHS has messed it up because now I have to add into my schedule “ Open text from NHS. Read it. Ignore it. Move on “ Apart from them wanting me to have something I already have in the form of a schedule they also want me to play Sudoko. I hate Sudoko and the frustration of these blogs is that not only can you not opt out, but you can’t reply to them either.
Back to my schedule and back to my blog. Do I hear a sigh of relief, class? What’s that you are muttering at the back, death is going to be welcome relief and can’t come too soon. And no, you by the window, you can put you hand down because you can’t go to the toilet. When I let you go yesterday you didn’t come back. Now, that whole revisiting of the morning school regime is a kind of nostalgia. I’ve been watching the BBC 4 Series of the Sounds of the Sixties and that’s real nostalgia.
Herman and the Hermits miming to a really crap song. Freddy and the Dreamers miming and kicking and sort of dancing to an even crappier song. That was in a clip from an old Blue Peter as well with Valerie Singleton and some bloke whose name I couldn’t remember, but they had a dog with them who looked like he wanted to chew off Freddie’s flailing legs. Freddie used to be a milkman ( he really shouldn’t have given up the day job although it’s a bit late to tell him that as he died in 2006… his music died several decades before that … ) All the usual suspects were there, The Rolling Stones, Dave, Dee, Beaky, Mick and Titch ( so called because they couldn’t think up a decent name for the band …. And then they still couldn’t ) Roy Orbison, lovely voice, but what an odd looking guy, ) Sonny and Cher (amazing that she is still going strong ) Dave Clark who couldn’t sing for the life of him nor really play the drums but ended up richer than all of his contemporaries after he bought The Beatles back catalogue. There was David Jacobs too who you could still hear on Radio 2 until recently even though his teeth obviously no longer fitted him.
And apart from everything there was the studio audience dancing with their amazing hairstyles and National Health glasses ( no texts in those days, just rubbish and embarrrasing spectacle frames ) In fact in one of the clips George Best was there with a very attractive blonde in his arms … well, actually not in his arms because I think the studio rule was that you had to keep a social distance whilst moving to the music ( not a lot changes does it?) But, these kids would have changed, There they all were fifty-five years ago, frozen in time, the girls jockeying for positions to be seen by the cameras near to the miming artistes, the boys trying to look cool and incredibly all wearing suits and ties. You’re virtually not allowed into Soho House now if you are wearing a tie and it’s a very long time since I went to a disco ( must remember to tell you about how I caught up in a police swoop on under age gambling at the old Coronet Club or was it the El Toro? But not today. ) but I bet you aren’t allowed into those in neckwear either. Although I hear certain clubs appealing to a certain type of person do encourage you to wear studded metal collars around your neck and hand-cuffs too. Does anybody remember the late lamented “Tie Rack “ chain of shops? I mean, who wears a tie nowadays? Although I’ve still got a collection in my cupboard, most of them with Disney characters on them which I specifically used to wear along with my Micky Mouse watch when I had to go to meetings at City law firms. You always have the advantage if the opposition doesn’t take you seriously .
So, while I was watching, the thought occurred to me that all those pretty young things on the dance floor are now about my age, or even older and unless they are the “ Oldest Swingers in Town “ ( loved that song, you remember it don’t you Isabella ? ) I am guessing they ain’t dancing any more. Probably as much as they can do is to walk to their locals. That’s if they are still around and many of those whose music they were dancing too aren’t around any more either. Well, obviously the Stones are except for poor Brian Jones, but we know they are going to live forever having sold their souls to the Devil ( well, they had Sympathy for Him, didn’t they ? That’s another popular music reference, Isabella, so sorry )
Which brings me neatly ( my links/segues have been weakening over the last few blog.,,.. what do you expect after 38 of the bloody things… I mean sometimes I do wish I had never started and I suspect some of you may feel that may too ) to Death. Now this is not the depressing thing you continue to read about in the papers or see on tv if you are foolish enough to still be reading or watching the news. This is Death with a capital ‘D’ like the character in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books whose skeletal figure sits astride a white pony called “ Binkie “ and has a grand-daughter called Susan who is perfectly human and normal and quite ordinary ( By the way, the isn’t that adaptation of “ Ordinary People” on BBC 1 quite extraordinary? ) Must read the book along with the other dozen I’ve ordered from Amazon because I love getting those deliveries as much as I hate getting these texts from NHS
The reason I am talking about Death is because something Chris Evans said last week. He’s off the air on holiday this week. I wonder where he has gone ? Mind you running a show single-handed from 6.30 –9 30 am every morning he deserves it. He floated the idea of what you would prefer to know. How you would die or where you would die or when you would die ? I am going to return to the first two tomorrow but if you knew when you would die it would be a bit like the last day of a long holiday, but a million times worse !
So, with that cheery thought and hoping none of you will meet your Maker today I leave you with the link to Rebbetzin Ilana Epstein’s blog as I promised her https://blogs.timesofIsrael.com/my-first-real-yom-haatzmaut/ ( that’s Israel Independence Day for my non-Jewish readers and it’s today for some of my Jewish readers as well ! )
So, that’s me well in with my Rabbi and his wife. She has moved on from challa baking to a falafel making class today at 5pm. Multi-talented lady, as she makes great pastries too. Although I did once go to her house for dinner on a Jewish Festival and she had fish heads on the table as I recall which rather put me off the meal ( she told me it was a tradition where she came from . Where was that? Billingsgate ? ) . Neither of us have ever forgotten that and when we next met she did give me a pack of jelly sweets ( kosher ) in the shape of fish which were far more acceptable.
Stay safe and see you all tomorrow if we are spared.