Just loved the fact that I was able to watch almost a whole day’s cricket yesterday. Got somewhat peeved when I got work calls and emails to interrupt me. But one from Nicky with Wanda wearing a white cricket jumper on her hind legs, nose pressed to the tv screen was worth the interruption. In cricketing terms the tail was wagging!.
No crowd noises like in football so all a bit eerie when a wicket falls in total silence but better than nothing and after Newcastle’s surrender on Wednesday night 5-0 to Man City (we did have nine key players out, mind you ) I am definitely focusing on cricket.
I wonder if Little Richie our bubbly Chancellor is a cricket fan. He looks as if he may be. You can usually tell. And if so is that why he has his £180 mug? It looks and sounds a bargain. I mean it keeps drinks at the same temperature for three hours and you can plug it in to a power point. It can’t possibly take three hours to drink a cup of coffee, but if you are watching cricket… then, maybe. If he is multi-tasking and I expert nothing less from the diminutive financial whizz kid ( is he really small or is it just because he looks twelve years old ? ) then he can pop off to print more money with his John Bull Printing Set and return to find his coffee still rewardingly hot. And the cricket still going on.
I loved the photo of him serving food at Wagamama looking all the while like the lunch monitor. He could sell tiny models of himself as collectibles and make enough money to save our economy. Did he take these discount vouchers he is busily printing with him to the restaurant do you think ? Or did he take his £180 mug knowing that the drink he had poured for himself at home would still be hot on arrival? We all know what restaurants charge for coffee ( well I did know, but It’s been so long I’ve forgotten… just remember it was exorbitant and it never arrive warm and the cup was tiny ) so maybe he just wanted to save a bit more money and put it into his little Micky Mouse savings tin in his office.
Many of you liked my reference to snake oil salesmen yesterday, but the best comment came from my old school friend, Roger Bardle. I don’t usually quote but with his permission I will.
“ How timely is your reference to snake oil salesmen and their fake cures for every ailment under the sun. I have just read about the gentleman in West Sussex who has been found guilty of sending coronavirus ‘cures’ to the USA and France all from a garage and a local post office. The packaging looked nice and professional in a fetching pink shade. West Sussex, the sort of location usually associated with Miss Marple. How times have changed.
Snake oil salesmen still thrive. They have just changed their modus operandi “
You can tell we went to a good school with that Latin quote.
I wonder if the bloke got a Government loan for his new business. Nothing like innovation. Like the bloke in Essex who has installed all those machines at underground stations dispensing face masks. Like anyone ever keeps them on once they get off the bus or train. Some bus driver got into a fight with a passenger when he ( the driver ) refused to let him on his bus without a mask. In Zimbabwe, a Government Minister got accused of corruption when he was found selling a load of Big V equipment.. to the Government.. including face mask at the equivalent of £22 a mask! Not sure they were even reusable.
I wonder if the fighting bus driver got a parking ticket while he was arguing. Some other poor bus driver pulled into the layby by the side of a bus stop and was duly handed a ticket by an over enthusiastic parking warden. Have to feel sorrow for the driver. The sign said “Bus “ and the “ Stop” and he was only following instructions.
On the subject of transport Uber drivers are now taking to the water. Well, not literally. They aren’t driving those amphibian “ Duck “ things you find by the sea in the States. But they are driving boats along the Thames as river taxis or in this case River Ubers. Have to say I find the thought a bit scary. Most of the drivers I’ve used don’t speak a lot of English and haven’t a clue where they are going without Waze. So, you can just imagine them heading straight for a weir or chugging along all the way until they get to the sea and picking up a few travelers in Dover who couldn’t get into the back of a lorry or find a dinghy and bringing them all the way back to Tower Pier.
This next link is brilliant if I say so myself. Clacton Pier has just received the “ Pier of the Year“ award. Not to be confused with the “ Rear of the Year “ award that was so justifiably won by Felicity Kendall years ago. Clacton Pier has a lot going for it. A full funfair above the waves, a galaxy of slot machines and games, and then finally there you are, miles out over the ocean looking at the horizon and back at the beach. But, the best thing about it is its address. “ No 1, North Sea “ I kid you not. It’s really got me thinking as to where you would find “ No 2 North Sea. “
Now in terms of uniqueness as an address that must really be rivaling No 1 London which is the address of Apsley House, the ancestral home of the Duke of Wellington.
As you will have gathered I am in a playful mood today so let’s talk about the lady who has such little time to spare ( and no, it’s not my missus ) that she can’t spare a moment to wash her fruit and vegetables and instead puts them, unpeeled, into her dishwasher for a quick spin. I really do think there may be more out than in at times. I mean it must take her ages to lay the fruit out. How does she do it I wonder? Strawberry, by strawberry, raspberry,by raspberry on the top shelf alongside the cherries ( does she take the stalks off first ) Seems she definitely lays pineapples and avocados at the bottom. I mean, who washes a pineapple anyway? And if she gets the temperature wrong do they emerge as a smoothie? How is that process taking less time than putting them in a colander and washing them under a tap? And don’t the little blueberries roll loose and clog up the machine? Bit tricky to explain that to the repairman.
We get our fruit and veg from Sainsburys after a brief dalliance with a couple of farm/type delivery companies who saw us right at the start of the lock down. Nothing but good things to say about Nova Blooms and at least their stuff lasted. The trouble when you rely on deliveries is that you have no control over the sell-by dates. When I used to shop in Marksies a couple of decades ago I would always reach to the back of the shelf as I knew the stuff there had the longest sell by dates ( I am a bit neurotic about sell by dates and won’t eat stuff once midnight strikes on the last date on the package )
What we’ve been getting is really short dated stuff and my wife is racking up the credits by calling regularly on delivery. They never argue. They know exactly what they are doing .
Maybe they wash the stuff in their dishwashers before they send it out and that’s why it comes to us so soft.
Had loads more to write today but It’s Friday and have a zoom call and then out with the duster, the hoover and the polish. My own bell, book and candle. Oh and cricket to watch as the sun is shining.
Have a good weekend, a good sabbath, stay safe and if we are spared will see you all on Monday.