My little anonymous friend at the NHS seemed to have forgotten me. No helpful pieces of advice for months. Only that one call a month ago to say I could go out for an hour a day. I was beginning to think it was something I said or wrote and then…. out of the blue, a long letter.
Now it wasn’t as nice a letter as the one my neighbour, Diane, in the Cotswolds sent to say thank you for a cricket magazine. But, it wasn’t a bill either and goodness knows I get enough of them. In fact my post that I leave to simmer in a box in the hall for up to a week is largely charity requests and bills. I know it doesn’t really have to be that long, but it means it gives me another seven days of not having to open it, which in turn becomes another week or so before I actually deal with it and I really am busy. Honest. If there is anybody reading this to whom I owe money then a phone call or an email will be a far more efficient way of getting paid. In fact, stick to the email because, as regular readers will know, I rarely answer the phone either.
I am looking forward to my birthday the week after next ( it’s July 13th if you want to post the card early ) because it will make a change to get stuff through the post that a) I want to get and b) I don’t have to answer. Years ago I had a friend and we sent each other the same card every year, just changing the name. Saved us both fortunes until there was no more room to write a greeting and I have the vague recollection that when it was his turn to receive it, he got so excited that he spilled his breakfast cereal all over it which made it no longer fit for purpose. Neither of us had the energy or the inclination to buy a new card and start the process all over again.
But, back to my letter from the NHS. It’s a long letter. It must be important because it comes not only from the Department of Health and Social Care, but also from the Ministry of Housing, Communities and Local Government. It says it’s important and personal at the top as well and I don’t think a Department and a Ministry would lie to me, would they? I mean they are Civil Servants not politicians and I don’t think Bojo or The Caretaker are involved in any way. Well, they didn’t write or sign the letter, though The Caretaker may have something to do with the policy. I don’t think Bojo bothers with trivial things like policy anyway.
They told me and I quote “ we know that shielding couldn’t have been easy for you and anybody living with you and we would like to thank you for your resilience”
Very nice. I couldn’t have got through it without their helpful pieces of advice. Remember things like open a window or do a sudoku .
As I said the letter is long and although I would like to publish it in its entirety here I am mindful both of your boredom threshold and the fact that it was marked personal with the “confidential “ bit implied I think. They are real cheap-skates ( I mean what did you expect?) as the letter is printed on both sides of the paper so it comes as two sheets rather than four. I hate it when that happens. You feel short changed.
It goes on to tell me ( and I think I can share this with you without fear of prosecution or, indeed persecution… I have had that for the past four months anyway ) that I can meet up in a group of six people outdoors ( been raining all day yesterday and more forecast, but anyway I can’t do this till August 1st ) and they don’t even have to be from the same household. Big sigh of relief from my missus who comprises my household, although she was touched by the sympathy and understanding they showed to her for being locked up ( whoops! locked in ) with the likes of me for four months.
The win-win for her is that I no longer need to observe social distancing with other members of my household. She is the only member as I just said, so no big deal.. If only I had known that was what I was supposed to do I could have said that the through room cleaning and hoovering were off the table as I couldn’t do them and socially distance. As for mowing the lawn, out of the question. And forget that coffee in bed in the morning.
Oh, and I can also create a support bubble. Always wanted one of those .And I can go to work. GO to work ! what have I been doing these last four months but work? I can go outside to buy food. Why should I bother with that when the nice man from Sainsburys delivers every Friday? And then the sting in the tail. I have to remain cautious, stay at home where possible and if I dare to go out I have to follow social distancing. Having typed all that I am not sure why they didn’t just say, lock yourself in and throw away the key!
So for everybody else pubs, restuarants and hairdressers etc will open tomorrow. What was that old song, “ But Not For Me ? “ Mind you I think I am safer keeping well away for a week or two. Have you ever been in a pub at closing time? Drinkers get very maudlin and are inclined to throw their arms around each other ( lot of man hugging going on … there was a fair bit from the Sheffield United players last night as well, when they thumped Spurs 3-0 not to mention the spitting) And they are going to show live matches on big screens in the pubs and bars, but with the sound turned down. Like that will make any difference.
But, I have taken some action. I’ve booked a haircut on August 3rd and decided I am going to go to the Cotswolds early August as well. Time to roll the dice, I think. No need to worry and if I do then maybe a Tibetan chant will help me relax. There are one or two of those available. The Dalai Lama has actually released a whole album of those and unbelievably his record label ( yes DL does have a record label ) has picked out the most commercial track and released it as a charity single. Can’t wait to download it. I fall asleep listening to the Archer monologues every night so goodness knows what a Tibetan chant will do for me.
So, that should take you nicely into the weekend. I see they arrested Ghislaine Maxwell and on Monday I will share with you my own personal Maxwell family stories. If that’s not a cliff hanger then I don’t know what is. Very excited as am having one of my kosher pot noodles for lunch as well. Been conserving those.
Have a good weekend and a good sabbath and if we are spared see you all on Monday when it will be Memories of Maxwell sharing time.