Today’s blog may be a bit shorter than usual. That’s not down to that fact that I have nothing about which to write. I mean, I’ve a whole weekend’s idea of subjects. But, it’s because I am struggling to see the screen on my Macbook. I’ve got an eye infection and even as I struggle to type there is mercy mission going on out there to get me some anti-biotic eye-drops. I’ve tried everything else. Blethaclean wipes, makeup removal pads soaked in boiled water with a drop of salt, good old-fashioned rubbing. And nothing works. But, I am a trojan and I can’t let you down, so I soldier on through the misty haze that is my eyesight today.
Even before she asked me how my eyes were ( she is the one going on the mercy mission by the way, so don’t think badly of her ) my wife asked me this morning what I was going to write about. Nice to know that it is her first waking thought. Well, second actually, after what time is my husband going to get up and got down to make me a coffee. Anyway, I did tell her. although some days I don’t, as I often haven’t a clue where my blog will take me until I start to write it. But, today it’s about Stonehenge. And I did make her coffee as usual even though I took my life in my hands staggering down the stairs feeling and looking like Mr Magoo. If you can remember him then it’s a miracle you still have all your faculties.
Back to Stonehenge and then I will explain why I felt the urge to write about something that is very far removed, both geographically and historically from our current slough of despair. Although is it? I mean why was Stonehenge built? I watched “ The Flintstones “ along with the rest of my generation so I thought I had a pretty good idea. Wasn’t it the prehistoric Wembley Stadium? Don’t those huge stones form goal-posts with a fallen cross-bar? Mind you can you imagine a keeper or a striker colliding with one of those. He isn’t going to get up in a hurry and how did they get him off the pitch when the neither the stretcher nor the wheel had yet been invented?
Now, there is another mystery. A circle ( not a crop one, either ) some 2 km in diameter, made up of pits some 10m wide and 5 m deep ( all socially distanced note ) and four thousand years old. This Neolithic monument is even bigger and maybe, even older, than Stonehenge and it’s not far away. Again, parts align to the summer solstice, which suggests some kind of worship site. A bit like a football stadium then. So, if Stonehenge was used for sporting and religious worship what on earth did you do with twenty very deep pits? Toss sacrifices down? Were they a substitute for what we now call an early bath? You get sent off for a dangerous tackle and down a pit shaft you go. Suggestions please. And maybe a prize for the best. As I moved towards the nervous nineties of these blogs I’ve only just hit on the idea of prize competitions to boost readership. “ The Sun “ thought of that years ago, so in Neolithic terms I am really not re-inventing the wheel.
But, why Stonehenge as a subject in the first place? My wife informed me she had never been there and on reflection, neither have I. So, that’s a plan for a post lock-down day out. But still, why Stonehenge? Sounds like the title of a play or a book, doesn’t it. “ Why Stonehenge? “ I like it, so I will say it again. Aloud although I know you can’t hear. Memo to myself. Investigate a podcast. You don’t have to be able to see clearly to record one of those.
Stonehenge is near Glastonbury and I should have been spending the weekend watching Glastonbury, of course. Well, not from a tent or even by glamping, but from the comfort of my own couch at home. My son goes every year, but then he’s a music lawyer and he says he has to. He doesn’t stay on site, but at a nearby hotel and then walks into the chaos. It always seems to look like the Charge of the Light Brigade, “ Into the valley of death “ and all that and I suppose if it had been held this year that would have been a very apposite comparison.
I can hear you all saying “ That Mel, clinging on to his youth. He can’t really like that awful loud music can he ? He’s much too old to be going to things like that. It’s bath buns and wheelchairs in Bournemouth for him. And this obsessions with this modern music. It’s just a pretension. Like we all pretend to like classical music and opera and ballet because it sounds like the thing to do. “
Ah, but when I am watching live loud music, I don’t fall asleep and snore in my £100 seats in the stalls. I do actually listen and on Saturday night I did watch Glastonbury re-visited and I watched it with the sub-titles on so I could actually understand the lyrics. Well, I use the word “ understand “ loosely. Listening to “ The Killers “ singing “ Human “ I still couldn’t understand what on earth they meant when they sang. “ Are we human, or are we dancer?“ Yes, singular. Big prize to any reader who can explain that one. Is it a reference to one of Santa’s reindeer or does it have something to be with “ Strictly “ . Which, by the way, I’ve also never watched.
And as for age well you are never too old to rock ‘n’ roll, although descending into the “Mosh Pit “ or “ surfing “ the crowd is probably a step too far. Isabella aged 94 ( or any other readers who have led a sheltered life ) I will explain that to you later. In the case of Isabella over the garden fence.
I was at a Festival a few years ago ( I think it was Latitude in Norfolk, and watching “ Mumford and Son “ from the side of the stage. My son said to me,
“ Dad, you must be the oldest person here.”
I looked to my right and there, to my delight was Tom Jones, also head banging like a teenager. I’ve never met Tom Jones before, but it didn’t stop me saying to him,
“ Hello, Tom, good to see you. My son has just said that I am the oldest person here, but you’re a good five years older than me, so I’m not. “
I think I was taking a chance, because even at his age he looks a bit useful with his fists, but he just laughed and shook my hand. He’s got a very firm handshake if you want to know and I did hear a bone or two crack, but, apart from that he took it very well.
Some musicians are not taking Trump’s use of their music well at all. Springsteen took exception to the use by George Bush of “ Born in the USA “ It’s not a patriotic song at all, so when Trump tried to use it as well “ The Boss “ ( that’s what we fans call Bruce by the way ) again took exception . And now there are is a whole queue of artists lining up to sue the Trumpster for using their songs in his election campaign. The Rolling Stones have had their lawyer write a letter to prevent usage of “ You Can’t Always Get What You Want “ You might as well tell a three-year-old that as Trump. Adele told him to stop using “ Rolling in the Deep “ and “ Skyfall “ ( watched her do both of those at Glastonbury on the revisit too. What an amazing performer she is. ) Even voices from the grave join in to put Trump back in his box. The late, Tom Petty’s family insist Trump stops using “ I Won’t Back Down. “ And he probably won’t. Or can’t. Once you dig yourself a deep pit there’s no getting out of it. Although, I suppose he could get back down. Singing to himself all the way.
So, I did manage a full blog, as my wife returned safely with my eye drops, after her first entry into a shop since March. What a star.
See you ( metaphorically and literally ) tomorrow I hope if we are all spared. Stay safe until then