So, Lance Batchelor, the CEO of Saga gives you a personal message. That’s after you’ve been told they are very busy and waiting times are longer than usual so why not call back in a few days when they will have more staff and can deal with your call more swiftly? I spent ten minutes listening to the Police’s “ Message in a Bottle “ All about sending out an S.O.S and as my insurance is going to run out in a few days that’s what I think I might just have to do. Lance wants me to complete a questionnaire at the end of the call. Happy to do so, Lance old chum. Although that assumes I ever get to the end of the call.
Eventually, after listening to all of “ Africa “ by Toto I did speak to a lady called Julie. Very nice lady. The sort of lady you might chat to if you were sitting next to her on a park bench (if you could get into the park for the runners) Julie confirmed that my “ claim “ was closed on my file. She said it should have gone to “ Claims and Price-Queries “ for repricing but she didn’t know if it had. She had no idea why Ryan had told me I would be called back by Customer Services yesterday ( I am beginning to suspect that Saga don’t even have a Customer Services or Customer Relations department ) But, she would now send it off for re-pricing. I asked her why that was necessary as it seemed a very simple calculation given that I had paid for the fixed price feature and all that they needed to do was to lop off my no-claim discount from what I paid last year and get to the price. I decided I wasn’t going to push the envelope and ask again for the rebate because I had not been using the car. I sensed Julie wanted to get back to her knitting or whatever else she did between angry calls Maybe she mans an Adult Phone line between times… I mean a girl has to live, doesn’t she? I got that idea from the new series on the Sky Alibi channel, “ We Hunt Together “ which is very good, stars Eve Myles from” Keeping Faith “ and “ Torchwood “ and where one of the leading character does man such a phone line and has made friends with a few of the callers who chat at premium prices about the loss of their mothers
Anyway, Julie understood that our relationship needed to come to an end and asked if I wanted to speak to a manager. I said I did. She then said they were all busy with meetings today ( yesterday, that is ) . Indeed, she was attending one of those meetings. I was beginning to feel I was getting too much information about Julie and so we agreed that a manager would call me today. So, sorry that we have yet another cliffhanger ,but I am proceeding with my search for alternative insurers and in a way hope I don’t find one as I feel so close to Ryan and Julie and even Lance ( who didn’t bother to ask me to complete the survey, by the way ) and will miss them when they are out of my life.
I didn’t have the energy to call Barclays back and wait an hour to speak to somebody. Enough is enough.
Meanwhile “ The One Show “ actually had a mini Watchdog feature on the subject of car insurance premiums. People they interviewed were complaining that their premiums had gone up for anything between £60 and £80 and I laughed, I actually laughed. Do you realise how lucky you are, I thought ? Stop moaning and pay before they change their minds. Interestingly enough some companies had actually implemented my plan and had given rebates for non-use. The message was don’t do auto-renewal ( pun in there somewhere) And the final sting in the tail was that accidents had fallen by a massive 90% and that the industry has saved about £1billlion ( yes, I billion ) during the lock down. There is also a Financial Conduct Authority for the industry to which one can complain. My finger will be poised over the keyboard tomorrow if and when I get to speak to them.
My friend Daphne in South Africa told me she enjoyed yesterday’s blog and I was going to mention the fact that stores are now open there to sell liquor again. Cue long queues. Can’t keep the Proteus away from their booze. But no tobacco on sale yet so very active black market has arisen in cigarettes and British American Tobacco are bringing a court challenge. Maybe I should do the same so I can sleep easy just for one night in my Cotswold bed rather than risk a round journey of over 200 miles ( can’t compete with The Caretaker ) and fall asleep at the wheel and then find myself without any insurance when I make a claim.
Won’t even be able to stop at a service station for a toilet break though I think I may consider parking on a bridge over the motorway, getting my wife to hold my legs, whilst I dangle over the side and paint “ Dominic Cummings is Innocent “ alongside the other graffiti. Maybe even do a wee whilst I am painting. Or say something about Saga, like allow the Southgate One to Drive .
I did mention that horse-racing and pigeon racing were back and now it seems that Sea Horses are as well. Not that I have ever seen a sea horse although there was a horse I used to back years ago called Sea Pigeon even before my current obsession with pigeons began. Seahorses like the quiet and having become an endangered species are now returning to their most important breeding grounds because of the absence of boats, anchors and other noises during the lock-down. No mention of seahorse racing though. Might be a bit tricky to get a form line for the entries I suppose or, indeed, to put a saddle or blinkers on them or get them to go into the stalls. . What I did learn though ( just how educational has the lock-down been for me and my lucky readers ) is that male Spiny seahorses get pregnant. The Seahorse Trust ( bet that’s a popular charity in this present climate… can you imagine persuading somebody to donate to that rather than the NHS or the Save America from Trump fund?) found 16 pregnant males when they did a dive in mid-May at Studland Bay in Dorset. The lengths some people will go to do social distancing in amazing. Just as a footnote that number was the most since the monitoring of the site began in 2008 and the first spotted in annual surveys since one solitary seahorse, named Hope, was seen in 2018.
So these people go and check up on them every year. Unbelievable. And as for Hope, assuming she is well-behaved, maybe one of them has made her a little cape to keep warm which would of course then be…. Wait for it.. The Cape of Good Seahorse Hope.
So, that’s a nice link back to to Cape Town. I will give you a moment to stop rolling on your back with laughter…. There, to proceed, They are allowing church services of 50 or less but you still can’t hike up Table Mountain in the open air. Think many of these rules are being challenged over there. Seems our current rules are staying in place until July 4th so not sure if anybody will bother here. That’s our problem. We are so laissez faire. Mind you, my prediction of any end to the Big V by July 31st ( made as early a March I may so ) is still looking promising so if you got your money on early and haven’t died before you can be paid out then so good luck to you.
British Airways emailed me to say they were going to fly again. They didn’t say how they would find the passengers though. I’ve nothing booked with them now till October so let’s see how things pan out.
Meanwhile, you will be pleased to know that Tommy, Timmy, Theresa and Tabitha my tomato plants are happily potted in my back garden and are being shown all the love and affection they deserve. We have to find our comforts and our friends where we can in these difficult times
So, have to go now and make calls to people who show no great inclination to speak to me. I wonder why. But, as they will learn once I am on the trail I never give up.
Have a good day and stay safe and if we are spared and I am not arrested for threatening behaviour to somebody who doesn’t give me what I want on the phone ( that’s the only child stamping his foot coming out in me ) we shall meet again tomorrow.