So, is this it then? Have I hit the wall? 8.00 am and the page is still blank. Is this what writer’s block is like ? I’ve never experienced it before so I don’t really know.
8.05. Page still blank. I suppose I could repeat that line every five minutes until I get to 1500 words, but not sure what that would do for my readership.
This is tough. I normally write too fast. I always used to do my books in longhand, filling page after page with illegible handwriting. Which was a problem as I then had to transcribe what I had written on to my Mac. Didn’t just edit as I went along, but also, quite often had to re-write as couldn’t read what I had written. On a plane. Or on a train. Or on the beach, You knew those pages by the sun-tan lotions which had greased out some of the words. But, the thing was that once I started I couldn’t stop and I was like a man possessed. Nobody could talk to me or interrupt me and today I am desperate for somebody to say something… anything.. so I can have some clue as to what to write.
Searching my mind for all my usual targets. Trump? Nah, nothing really there. News I am talking about, not the contents of his head. Bojo ? He’s got enough problems without me adding fuel to the fire. Bands that Isabelle aged 94 doesn’t know…. new 1975 Album coming out. The sample track is terrific as ever. Hope you saw them on the front cover of the Sunday Times magazine so you know that I am not making them up as I go along. I haven’t mentioned Isabella for a few days so she’ll take up a couple of lines… another zoom call with her grand-daughter in Portugal booked for this afternoon so maybe a quick health check on the fall-out from my fall last week. ( by the way, thanks to so many of you for carrying on asking how I am ) Finger is still sore, cut not yet healed, knee getting better ( not slowing me down… did 1km in 14 minutes yesterday down from 23 mins when I started… yes, I know that’s very slow, but have you had major surgery on a foot? Are u walking or running in a foot brace? So, please cut me some slack here ) Sam? Again very little to report. He hasn’t lost his phone again as far as I am aware. Cara ? Giggling in the bath a bit more coherently I feel, but still not a great conversationalist. My regular shoppers? Haven’t really needed them as Sainsburys still coming through and have Tesco in reserve.
Just did word count . That’s 350 and I reckon can get away with 1200 today so that’s almost 25% written. Dylan has a new album coming out called “ Rough and Ready Ways” Listened to two tracks to add to “ Murder Most Foul, “ One called “ False Prophet “ ( “ I ain’t no false prophet, I just said what I said , I’m just here to bring vengeance on somebody’s head “ ) the other “ I Contain Multitudes “ Make of it what you will.
It’s his 39th studio album, though his never ending live tour has ground to a halt. Temporarily I suspect. A man has to eat. I heard the live Manchester concert version of “Like a Rolling Stone “ on the radio the other day when somebody in the crowd ( and I did know their name as part of pop trivia) , shouted out “ Judas “ when he went electric and Bob replied, “ No, I’m not. You’re a liar “ One of the great musical moments in the history of popular culture.
And then suddenly my block lifted when I remembered an article by Louise Doughty who wrote “ Apple Tree Yard “ Great book and pretty good sensual tv adaptation too. I met Louise at Sandy Shaw’s apartment a few years ago. I just threw that in so you might wonder what I was doing in Sandie Shaw’s apartment and whether or not she was wearing shoes. Slippers as I recall, by the way. But, I am not telling you why I was there. Will save that for my memoirs which may be my next writing project.
Anyway, Louise ( why do I always mistype that as ‘ lousy ‘? ) has written some rules for writing under lock-down. She reckons we writers should stay off the booze? Why I wonder ? I’ve always written my best stuff with a steadily diminishing glass of Jack Daniels by my side. Though not first thing in the morning which was perhaps why I was struggling early doors. . Seems coffee and chocolate are good, Must be caffeinated so will get round to that after I finish this. Not much help to the writing then but can’t make my coffee break any earlier. Louise says chocolate must be 70% and anything lower than that lowers the quality of the writing. I might have a finger of Kit-Kat or a square of Cadburys ( nobody bought me a slab despite my hint yesterday ) so that may give a clue as to why I am not going to win the Booker Prize any time soon.
She encourages background noise so I’ve put on Virgin Radio and will slide seamlessly into Ken Bruce on Radio 2. She wants me to “ corral “ my time. I have no idea what that means so I am not going to bother. Don’t use the uncertainty of the times as an excuse not to write. Come on, that’s the very reason I do write!
Procrastination. Now that I understand and can buy into. My blog helps me procrastinate over the heavier weight of writing a novel on a subject that, as it has developed, I realise I know very little about. She reckons it is permissible to spend 55 minutes of every hour procrastinating, though I prefer to call it creative thinking. The thing is that for those other 5 minutes, like her, I type like crazy and wonder how I can ever get those lost 55 minutes back.
Then if you really can’t find something to write, read around your subject. I think she may mean plagiarise though I dd spend a solid hour the other day reading about the techniques of Christiaan Barnard’s heart transplant operations and finished up non the wiser. I did write a medical thriller once called “ The White Corridors “ ( now available on Amazon as an e-book, or maybe it’s on Kindle or maybe both. Buy it and find out) . But then I had a doctor friend leading me by the hand every step of the way. Here and now, it’s just me who never ever got double figures in any science exam so struggling a bit. Memo to myself. Make your next novel about football. No need for any research then.
Louise does go on to say that one should read around one’s topic. I think that’s pretty much the same as what she said before so will ignore that too. But, the ultimate pearl of wisdom which I pass on to all budding writers is that your writing won’t happen unless you make it happen. Or as I always say, you can’t be a writer if you don’t write. Or you can’t be a writer if you spend too much time blogging!
Watched a University Challenge type quiz yesterday afternoon from my law firm, Clintons. My son Nicky was on one of the teams, the losing one as it transpired, but it was close. An audience of about 40 so more than any football match at the moment. Exciting stuff and why is it that one can always answer the questions on things like that, but not when one is actually a contestant ?
I’ve got a really busy day today, big birthday for my missus ( but then most of you knew that) so have to cut this short…. In full flow now, didn’t you just know it. So where to go? Cotswolds? National Trust House? Seaside? Picnic? So many choices. Think will just park it for a few weeks… or months. There’s hopefully another birthday next year.
Stay safe and see you all tomorrow,