It’s back to school in so many ways. Do you recall your own early school days when you had a special friend? And that friend could change from week to week, or even day to day depending on what you happened to fall out about. And choosing that special friend alienated you from everybody else in your group of peers. Until you chose one out of them as your new special friend and the pair of you closed ranks against everybody else. It was like a merry-go-round only you were the only person who never got off.
So being allowed one friend to meet or walk with is pretty much the same thing. What do you say when a person calls and invites you to walk with them ? Sorry, can’t do this week as walking with my best friend. Try again next week. Things might have changed by then. And then they do and your original walking mate calls to go round the park again and you have to blank them and say you are already booked and be known forever as a fickle friend. It’s a problem that needs some Governmental advice. Be cautious as to who ( they wouldn’t say whom ) you choose to walk with. That alone needs a bit of work.
Anyway Sam, who has for some time professed to hate school ( except for PE and Play-Time) told us yesterday that he will be pleased to return. Not sure he’s really thought it through. It means a 7 hour day. maybe less an hour or so for lunch ( not sure how they are going to manage PE and Play-Time) rather than the 2 concentrated hours he’s got used to after not getting up till nine or even ten. Hence the piles of work on his floor as I mentioned a few blogs ago,
Still, at least he’s had a hair-cut with my dad’s barbering genes travelling down to my son, his dad, to enable him to have a go. And very professional job he made of it as well. He says he’s going to carry on after the end of the Big V as well. Haircuts seem to continue to dominate the news. People queuing all night for the hairdressers in New Zealand. Mind you, I’ve been there, beautiful country, but not a lot to do there except get your haircut.
Seems that there have been all sorts of surreptitious hair-dressing salons popping up. They are a bit like the old opium dens or red light establishments in the heart of Soho. Hand written signs behind an open door leading up a rickety flight of stairs to reveal a blousy over-weight woman who looks nothing like the card in the telephone box ( and no, I’ve no personal experience of that but I used to work near Soho and I’ve seen lots of movies ) You whisper the magic words,
“ How much ? “
“ Depends what you want, love . Cut, wash, trim, blow-dry. It’s more for a dyeing job and the roots. “
“ Nails? “ you whisper, through your face-mask.
“ Next door, love, she’ll look after you there.”
That’s the thing about the lock-down. There’s no cutting of locks.
If you thought my story yesterday of the guy who was charged with flouting regulations about being away from home and gave his address as “ no fixed abode “ then what about the latest crazy regulations in South Africa?. It’s winter there and they’ve opened the clothing stores. But you can only buy winter clothing. So, that’s closed shoes and no open-toed sandals. Bit unfortunate if you have bad feet and can only wear open-toes foot gear. Maybe you have to take a note from your mummy or a doctor’s letter and by the time that’s opened and read you can forget social distancing.
Meanwhile as things stand you can go to jail for buying flip-flops. Maybe you can go to jail for selling them as well. Or perhaps you can even be charged with attempted flip-flop purchase. That info is courtesy of my South African friend and reader, Daphne who probably only told me so she can get a mention.
Everyone wants to rival 94-year-old Isabella for mentions, but she is herself the gift that keeps on giving, Possible even more fruitful than the Trumpster. I wasn’t going to include this story today as I didn’t want her to feel guilty but she called me this morning to see how I was ( yes, it was that way round this morning as you will discover if you read on ) and encouraged me to use it.
Yesterday I arranged to supply her with my I-pad so she could speak to her grand-daughter Annabel in Portugal. As it was cold, with an unusual show ( for me ) of care and kindness I told her to sit inside her porch. She produced the legendary stool now safely returned to her and we placed a folding table in front of her. Nice picture, yes?
I connected with Annabel and realized that my own wi-fi wouldn’t extend next door. So I connected through my I-phone. Technological brilliance, I thought. Annabel joined the call, I left my home clutching my I-pad and phone, still talking to Annabel and completely forgot that there is a small wall between the two houses. I tripped over it, nearly blowing all thoughts of social distancing and aiming straight for the lap of the startled Isabella. Protection of my I-pad took precedence and I managed to get that safely on the table. Not so lucky with me or my I-phone or my glasses. We all flew in different directions before landing some way apart on the ground.
So, that’s why I got a call from a 94-year -old this morning checking on my health. In case you’re interested I am making a gradual recovery. Bruises coming out nicely on my knees, cut on my finger still seeping blood through the third plaster to be placed on it, glasses miraculously ok ( or at least no more scratched than they were before ) screen on phone a bit worse for wear but It’s insured with Vodafone and I was going to change it anyway ( call booked with Colin my IT man this morning to ensure all data is in the Cloud and I know how to work the little metal twisty thing to remove the sim-card) That really will test my technological know-how. The whole incident does prove that no good deed every goes unrewarded ! Anyway, she had a nice half an hour chat with her grand-daughter so my injuries were not for nothing. And at least she provided me with a good story with which to fill my blog ! Was a bit thin on material before that.
Just been invited to another quiz on Sunday night by the organiser of the birthday quiz last week. Maybe she can answer the question of what on earth I write about tomorrow? Forget to give you the answers to the tough questions from Sunday. Cat-flap? Invented by Sir Isaac Newton. Walter and Rowan? Names of the emergency helicoptors at The Royal London Hospital ( speaking of hospitals my foot surgeon Professor James Calder… not to be confused with James Corden ) has been appointed Chief Advisor on the health issues relating to the return of football. Always nice to bask in the surrogate fame of somebody you know, like and respect. Suspect there are lots of you out there telling people you know Professor Mel Stein, you know the guy who writes that annoying blog. Third question ,name of John Lennon’s first Beatles-type band? Actually can’t remember!
Anyway, things to do, places not to go. Amazing how the day just runs away with you. Mind you I’d settle for anything or anybody to run away with right now. Wouldn’t we all ? Stay safe and see you tomorrow if we are spared.