So, there I was yesterday, feeling particularly chipper ( there’s a word you don’t hear much now ) watching Dynamo Brest play Dinamo Minsk in the Belarus Premier League on You Tube ( yes, they do spell Dynamo differently in Minsk…. suspect they do a lot of things differently in Minsk ) and it’s half-time and its 1-1 and then my wife suggests ( quite strongly actually ) that we ought to watch BoJo address the nation. She suggested ( less strongly) that we do the same with The Queen on VE Day only I misheard her and thought she was saying we needed to watch Her Majesty undress the nation. That threw me for a moment. How was this little old lady in her 90’s ( yes, there is another one Isabella ) going to get everybody undressed in one night? Was this going to be like Santa delivering every child a present on Xmas Eve ( missed out on that as we didn’t do Xmas or Xmas presents in my house ) and was she going to stuff millions of pairs of pajamas and nighties in a giant sack, don a red outfit, get her reindeers ready and be on her way.? So, when I was told that Bojo was about to address the nation I couldn’t help but think he was going to undress them as well. No surprise there because he’s probably undressed a fair number already.
Anyway I did drag myself away from Belarus. Being there was a bit like being on war-time leave ( as you know we war babies had a hard time of it ) because it was like The Big V never happened. There was a crowd, sitting next to each other as well, with scarves draped around their necks. And they weren’t cardboard cut-outs either as they rose like a man (there were women and children there too ) as the half-time whistle blew and filed out happily chatting to each other to buy their drinks and burgers. There was one bloke wearing a face mask, but he looked a bit apologetic about it so I assumed he’s just come from holding up a bank ( my cop friend Alex in LA tells me that he’s a bit concerned patrolling the streets there as everybody is wearing masks and they all look as if they have, or are about to, rob a bank. Or a cop, for that matter ) Met Alex and his lovely Vietnamese partner Kathy, whose parents were boat people in a vegan restaurant in London. You meet a lot of interesting people in vegan restaurants. Got chatting and he admitted to getting a lot of stick being the only vegan policeman in Los Angeles.
Rude shock to return from sunny Belarus ( actually not sunny at all was chucking it down, but the people seemed very happy ) to BoJo and his messages of doom and disaster. At least I think they were. It was all very Churchillian and I was pleased to see him looking so well ( I really do like Bojo ) but when he started producing algorithms and equations I totally lost him. It seemed to be a kind of swingometer and I was left wondering if he was predicting the result of the next election or how many more cases of The Big V we were going to have.
Yes. I was useless at complex maths subjects at school, but as I’ve mentioned before (getting quite hard to remember what I have mentioned before within the 70,000 odd words I’ve written …. mind you just finished “ The Mirror and The Light “ all 888 pages of it and was still looking back at the character list to work out who was who ( or whom ) when I’d got past page 800) I am good a mental arithmetic. I can work our win doubles, each way doubles, trebles, each way trebles, accumulators, yankees etc in my head. Which is lucky because today I woke up feeling even chippier because horse-racing is back on tv. Longchamps in France. I spent the whole of my breakfast looking at the runners and riders (sadly hadn’t heard of any of the riders as they were all French ) but did find a horse to back in the 10.55 called Young Man and sad person that I am I am recording the whole meeting on Sky Racing Channel so I can watch it at the end of the day.
Actually, I’ve a really busy social calendar today so may be a bit pushed to find time to watch 4 hours of racing. I’ve a Zoom lunch with old friends ( now Bromance mates ) John, Robby and Len and am just hoping the technology doesn’t confound them John should be fine as he organized a Zoom birthday party for his wife last week. Robby and Len not so much.
Then at 5pm another regular Bromance chat. Colin, Jeff, Alan, Michael and maybe Len again. Maybe even Roger although he’s just called me to ask how he uses the link so not too promising there. I’ve never really been known for my technological skills but am fast a) realizing how many Luddites I number amongst my friends and b) that I have become a guru to them all,
Quick supper and then it’s the Big Quiz tonight for Mel’s birthday. His real first name is Howard but he always preferred Mel. Not really a lot to choose if I am being honest. Looking again at the round titles again as I type and wondering what I can read up on and answer is not a lot. Music/ Food. Devon ( Mel was born there ) Politics. Drink/Austria . Attention All Shipping / The Beatles Cats/London East End
Nothing about football or cricket or books there so I am very much going to be a passenger. Mentioned Belarus football already and back page of The Times suggest that ball-tampering should be legalized. Mind you the suggestion comes from a former Australian Test captain so shouldn’t really be surprised.
I’ve yet to finish my Biography of English Cricket ( next target after the Hilary Mantel marathon…. been reading lots of other books in between in case you were worried ) but I was reading this month’s edition of The Cricketer in the garden on Saturday and there are always delightful stories to be found in there even if this month there wasn’t a lot of cricket. Likening The Big V to the war-time spirit it talks of a bowler running in at Lords at a match between The Army and The RAF during the war, A doodle-bug bomb was dropped and the players fell to the ground, the bowler still holding the ball. It missed Lords and exploded in Regent’s Park a few hundred yards away. The players got to their feet, dusted down their whites, the bowler continued his run in and the batsman duly hit the ball into the stands for 6. Such a typically English story, I think. Stiff upper lip and all that.
Which reminds me that Alberto from my favourite vegetarian hotel up the mountain in Italy reached out to me ( he’s the one who told a room full of total strangers they weren’t getting mushrooms, avocado or rice that week because I didn’t like them ) I can quote him directly
“ I have seen your PM made even Berlusconi looking like an amateur in terms of screwing things up “
Oh well. BoJo has another three years or so do get it right if there’s anybody left to vote.
I don’t tend to post on Facebook a lot. Just the link to this blog mainly. But I did pose the question yesterday asking if I my older son and I were the only ones watching football from Belarus and got more responses to that than I get to my blog ( still struggling to find a way to reply to those by the way ) They varied from “ Hope Minsk are better than The Toon “ (Jeremy ) to “ Where is Belarus ? “ ( Jeff ) “ Never thought I’d be so grateful for Belarusian football ( Clare ) and the one that was so succinct, a simple “ Yes “ from Daniel ( who is also one of my regular readers .
Anyway, that’s yer lot for today. Didn’t get around to the bats today. Maybe tomorrow if we are spared. See you all then