I’ve managed to refrain from writing about The Big V directly. It’s a bit like Trump. Thrives on publicity and I really don’t want to feed it. Or him for that matter. I mean can you honestly imagine either of them as dinner guests? So, don’t be fooled by where I am going in this blog today.
The Old Testament is full of plagues. The poor old Egyptians got more than their fair share of them. Water turning to blood ( have you never cut your finger and washed it under the tap? ) Frogs ( who can forget Paul McCartney’s Frog song? A curse in itself ) Lice ( well, not unheard of in these hair growing days ) Wild animals ( they’ve been roaming the streets ) Livestock dying all over the place ( not from the Big V but we humans have to eat ) Boils ( nothing funny in them ) Hail ( well we did have heavy rain last week ) Locusts ( now I have discovered they are actually kosher but I am not that desperate for food as yet ) Darkness ( we are all trying to economise by switching lights off or just watching tv in the dark ) And I don’t want to mention the tenth as it’s too depressing so will blithely skip to another Old Testament ailment/plague, namely Leprosy.
If you caught leprosy or were cursed with it ( like Miriam, Moses’s sister albeit momentarily for a short sharp lesson ) then it seems you grew your hair long, didn’t speak and carried a placard and a bell to warn people to steer clear of you. Remind you of anything going on at the moment?
Now, that was a very circuitous way of mentioning that Robben Island in South Africa was former leper colony. There is a cemetery there filled with the victims of the disease and not the poor political inmates who died during their confinement. The inmate I want to talk about is Denis Goldberg, the only white man accused in the infamous Rivonia trial in June 1964 along with a certain Nelson Mandela. Denis also got a life sentence ( he was relieved because he really thought he was going to be hanged ) for campaigning to overthrow the Government , In fact, Denis spent twenty years in jail and on his release in 1986 travelled the world on behalf of the ANC carrying on the good fight. And on April 11th this year. Denis did die. Not from the Big V but from the Big C. An absolute hero. Rest in peace Denis. The fight he began all those years ago still goes on.
Whilst I am on the subject of South Africa ( my friend and loyal reader Daphne loves it when her homeland gets a mention ) I see they are bottom of the table in the list of Big V cases and casualties. When The Times first starting printing that table I couldn’t help thinking of the Olympic medal tables. Italy, Spain and France shot to the top, but you knew they would be overtaken by USA , China and Russia and so that proved to be the case. It’s very rare for China and Russia to do “ well “ in a competition and not be accused of drug-taking, but in this case that’s only because there aren’t any drugs to take or else I am sure they would both have been in like a shot. I was going to say “ In Like Flint “ though that’s such an old movie and my readers are so young ( well, in heart anyway ) they might not have got the reference.
If China can develop The Big V in a lab as The Big Donald suggests, then it’s hardly any surprise that they win all these medals at the Olympics and the like. Although, I am not sure that the lab of which Trump has seen evidence actually exists and if it does then it must be the same lab where he conducted his own clinical trials on self-injection with Dettol.
Still doing my perfect links, Belarus ( sort of Russia ) continues its football season apace encouraged by the barmy dictator who runs the country. I mean, they even have cheer-leaders at half time in the matches. Both my sons have become huge fans of the Belarus Premier League and liked the logo so much they reached out to them to ask for t-shirts. They’ve had no response to date so if any reader has any contacts with Belarus could they assist please.
The last match Nicky, my older son watched was between a team playing in blue and a team playing in white and as the commentary was in Russian that was about as far as he got. The white team won 2-1 in case you are interested. If you are minded today then you can watch Belshina Bobruisk v Dinamo Brest, last year’s champions ( we think, hard to tell ) Meanwhile, most of the teams seem to come from Minsk so lots of local derbies. I think one of my distant relatives came from Minsk so am struggling to decide which of them to follow.
No such problem with cricket at the moment. The only live cricket I have been able to find is the Women’s T20 Final from Vanuatu ( I kid you not ) Seems there are only 200,000 people in the whole country, but the game got half a million viewers on You Tube. We cricket fans have to grab our pleasures where we can.
ITV actually showed the 1987 FA Cup Final between Coventry and Spurs yesterday ( Spurs fans look away. Coventry won ) I was there. I went to every Cup Final. An old boy called Walter worked in my law firm office and he was on The FA Council and had access to tickets before it became my own life and I had no problem getting them for myself. I don’t ride on the Jewish Sabbath so I used to go to stay in Kenton with my friend Len Lazarus and we would walk from there. The Rabbi at Kenton Synagogue knew he had to keep his sermon short on what became known locally as Cup Final Sabbath.
I do remember one game where my younger son ( an Everton fan aged about 7 at the time ) saw his team beaten by Manchester United. He looked so disconsolate, with his scarf hanging limply around his neck, that a policeman tried to comfort him by pointing out that Everton had at least won the League and I had to react very swiftly to prevent the policeman being bitten by this child who was quite beyond any consolation and knew he had a three mile walk back amidst triumphant Manchester fans ( most of whom lived in London anyway )
By the way, it seems the Newcastle Club Shop is selling Manchester United products with their logo on. Mike Ashley, who owns Newcastle ( for the moment ) also owns JD Sports so he’s not going to be one to miss an opportunity. Last football mention today ( because otherwise 94 year old Isabella will complain ) is for Burnley FC at the request of my friends Jo and Steve who normally live next to us in the Cotswolds ( you remember Jo, she’s the one who wins all the prizes at the village Flower and Produce Show ) and are currently stranded up North near Skipton.
I was going to provide some context for my blogs by describing my office, but think will leave that until tomorrow as can see I am reaching my time and word limit. One has to exercise self-restraint and discipline and always leave the customers wanting more. Maybe ?
So will leave you with the fact that the whole time I have been writing this not a single person has walked past my window. As I said we have to take our pleasures where we can. Speaking of pleasures ( and my wife has told me I can’t write what I wanted to write ) it seems that there has been a huge surge in subscribers to Porn Sites on the Internet during the Big V. I have to confess I am struggling to understand how they are coping with face masks and social distancing. A bit of a challenge, although a nudist camp site in France has said that when it re-opens it will insist in all visitors wearing face-masks. Doubt that will attract too much attention to be perfectly honest as don’t think people look each other in the eyes at such venues.
I had a fire engine pull up outside my window last week. It had come to deliver my prescription and as the fireman was in full uniform ( minus the axe ) I thought they were going to raise their ladder and toss it through my window, but instead they left it tamely outside.
Anyway, nuff said. Off to mow the lawn and work on my book
Stay safe and if we are spared will see you all tomorrow.