OK. Hands up if you thought I was going to stop at a hundred. Well, to be honest it had crossed my mind. Regularly. In fact, whenever I sit down in front of a blank document and think, what on earth am I going to write about today. However, I’ve decided to steer a middle course. I reduced the regularity from six to five and now, from next week, I am going to write this bi-weekly. Which, for those of you who don’t have a classical education means twice a week. I am going to give myself some flexibility as to which days they will be as it will depend on what is happening in this world as I see it. Which, as you know is a fairly skewed perspective. I see things through a glass lightly to mis-quote Billy Shakespeare, my old writing mate.
I do know when I am going to stop. Well, at least I think I know, although I accept matters may be taken out of my own hands if the Big V intervenes. However, I still remain confident that my mosquito bites ( now nearly six months old ) will ward off all viruses however brave.
As to when that is, well, that’s between me and my editor/censor a.k.a as the missus.
So, where to start today? Before my partial retirement, or as I like to call it, rebranding. I may even change the title if I can think of anything better…. I just thought and I can’t. To be accurate, I can’t really be bothered. It’s worked for me and you since March, so if it ain’t broke then why fix it. I love it when a big corporate spends about a million quid to re-design a logo or some packaging and you look at the new version and then you look again and you simply can’t tell the difference.
One of the reasons I am downsizing is because the cricket season has really re-started. When it comes to cricket ( as with many other things ) I am a compulsive-obsessive. Not only can’t I miss a ball, but I have to be watching early to make sure I see the very first ball. When I go to cricket ( and of all the Big V deprivations that has been one of my greatest ) I make sure I get to the ground early, factor in the time to queue for a coffee ( the lines at Lords are endless, The Oval not so much ) buy a scorecard, pop into the loo, settle down in my seat, sneak a quick bite from one of my many snacks and then join into the rousing chorus of “ Jerusalem”
At least nobody has tried to ban that as yet.
Stuck at home as I am, prima facie ( another dip of the hat to the classicists ) I have every opportunity to watch the build-up, the interviews, the lunch-time and tea time analysis and the post-match dissection of everything that has occurred. Yesterday for example there was a delayed start because of rain ( in Manchester of all places, who would have thought it ? ) They finally took to the wicket at 12.30pm and at 1.40pm ( just after England lost their first wicket) they all trooped off for lunch. Only in England and only at cricket could that happen.
I used to love the teas when I actually played on a Sunday. Probably couldn’t get away with it now, but our wives always catered. My wife sort of cloned that for my birthday tea when she cut the crusts off the smoked salmon sandwiches which had been neatly cut in half as well.
I’ve almost forgotten why I started talking about the cricket. Ah yes, it had to do with working from home and not wanting to miss anything. The challenge has been when I get invited ( or rather told ) to attend a board meeting with quite a few people and I think I now have that sorted. I attend the meeting in a room with a tv. Put myself on mute. Attach headphones to my Mac. Make sure that the volume on the meeting is higher than the volume of the cricket. Leap from my seat when I am called upon to say anything, to lower the volume on the tv set and un-mute myself and it’s Bob’s your Uncle. Job done. Best of both worlds. So, if anybody reads this who attends any meetings with me you need to watch my eyes carefully to see if I am listening.
Can’t leave the cricket without a go a Joffre Archer our young fast bowler who broke all the rules and popped home to Brighton on the way from Southampton to Manchester ( think Waze may have let him down a bit ) for a quick cup of tea…. Or something quick anyway and was promptly dropped from the team and has to self-isolate for 5 days and have lots of tests. So basically he is missing a Test Match for Big V tests.
The result of all this double viewing is a great strain on my eyes particularly as there is no let -up in our evening viewing. Watched a really good film this week called “ Bad Education. “ It’s on Sky Cinema and stars Hugh Jackman and Alison Janney. I hated Jackman in “ The Greatest Showman “ mainly because I hated the film. It got awful reviews which were absolutely justified and then went on to break all box office records as it had a couple of block-buster songs. Alison Janney was always terrific in “ The West Wing “ ,but until I saw this film I didn’t realise what good actors the pair of them were. It’s about a kind of head administrator/teacher who uses the school credit card by mistake to buy a coffee and as nobody notices goes on to use it for another $2m dollars worth of goods for himself!
Seems Hugh Jackman was at university in his native Australia studying something like Communication . It was suggested to him that he sign up for a drama course as it would fill a couple of hours a week, tick some boxes on his course and there had never yet been a production. The guy who took the course changed and the new guy decided to do a proper theatrical production. Nobody had any stage experience and they drew straws as to who took the lead. Jackman drew the short straw and a star was born. Jackman says he didn’t wanted to do “ The Great Showman “ He didn’t think the script worked ( bloody, right. It was awful ) but his life-coach a lady called Lauren said she would slap him if he didn’t sign up for it. I think he owes her a bit of a bonus.
Just returning to that centenary theme, the musician who played a violin on the Beatles’ studio recording of “ Yesterday “ was also a hundred this week. Regular readers will know I wasn’t and am not a Beatles fan. I think they are derivative ( from Buddy Holly ) bubble gum compared to the earthy rock and roll/ blues style of The Stones. But, you can’t knock their success really and this old boy is following Major Tom and walking around collecting money for charity. Doubtless playing the air violin as he does so and whistling Yesterday. As I’ve indicated before, today, I wouldn’t mind belonging to yesterday myself. Wouldn’t we all?
Last ton of the day belongs to Lewis Hamilton. Now I’ve never been a fan of Formula 1. Or any formula for that matter as I hate science and maths. But in the Austrian Grand Prix he drove a lap in the pouring rain at 120 m.p.h. Which is about the same speed that folk bomb up my road in the mornings. But, it is impressive on the race track.
This week’s Grand Prix is in Hungary and in Budapest anyone connected with the race faces a fine of 15.000 euros or jail if they break the strict curfew and lock-down applied by the Hungarian authorities. Looking at the low number of cases and deaths there, maybe it’s a lesson Bojo and The Caretaker could learn.
Anyway, it’s Friday, No sign of our cleaner for another couple of weeks and so it’s out with the hoover, the duster, the polish, and the thing I clean the floor with whatever it is called. I even have an extended feather duster to do the top of the cabinets. So, have a good weekend and Sabbath and I will see you sometime next week if we are all spared.