I like a bet as you know by now. Particularly on the horses. Not so keen on casinos as there is at least some skill in working out which four-legged nag is going to be first past the post. Some skill and not a little inside knowledge. I remember one of our trainers who shall be nameless, not least because I can’t remember which one, telling us owners not to back our horse because it “ wasn’t our turn “ to win that day. Or words to that effect. That wasn’t fixing the race, but merely acknowledging that our animal would do better on another day. Sadly, we were never really told when that day actually was. I guess, that’s why you never see a poor bookie, but there are lots of bankrupt gamblers.
I get a daily email from Corals with whom I have an account ( it tends to follow hard on the heels of the NHS text… they never suggest I gamble on line to pass the day, by the way… but Corals have all sorts of suggestions from on-line poker to obscure sporting event taking place in another galaxy ( not really, but cut me some slack here as I am trying to make a point. ) By the way, I can never bet on football anywhere in the world, because as I am licensed by the Football Association to represent footballers I am what they laughingly call a “ Participant “ and am therefore deemed to have inside knowledge of any match. Like I would really know who is going to win when River Plate play Boca Juniors in Argentina. One of my players was recently charged by The FA with placing bets. £74 worth over three months, And every one a loser. And where he came from betting on matches wasn’t against the rules. And he’d been furloughed by his English club. Bit harsh if you think about it.
But, if you are a gambler then you need to bet, which is why I heard that Vegas is about to re-open some of its hotels and casinos. They estimate they will run at 8-10% occupancy which sort of shows the profits they make when they are full. I have an under-developed sense of fear ( my wife always thinks somebody is going to punch the living daylights out of me someday when I taunt somebody at a football match, the somebody being over six feet tall, with an ear-ring, tattoos and a broken nose ) but I still wouldn’t want to sit round a roulette table at this time. I mean you aren’t putting your chips on a bet, you’re actually gambling with your life. You really have to feel very lucky indeed to do that.
So, I won’t be rushing back to Vegas. I always thought it was Disneyland for grown-ups and I never really liked Disneyland either. My illusions were shattered when I went to the house of Micky Mouse and saw there were two toothbrushes in a container in the bathroom and some of Minnie’s clothes in the bedroom. No wonder there are so many mice running around. Mind you, we nearly lost our younger son there. I was pushing him in a buggy ( you know the one you get when you get in, park and it’s never there when you get back so you steal somebody else’s…. that’s what Disneyland teaches you, Grand Larceny … ) and I suddenly looked down and I was pushing an empty buggy. We panicked, but at eighteen months he had seen his beloved Winne-the Pooh ( I am going to return to words with two ‘oo’s in them shortly) and had run over to cuddle him.
That wasn’t as bad as when on another visit years later I decided to push the boat out and book a personal meet and greet with Jake of Jake and the Pirates ) my grandson , Sam’s then favourite film/ cartoon character, before he discovered Star Wars, The Planet of the Apes series and Avengers ) I also booked us a kosher lunch. The kosher lunch, for which I had paid a Rabbi’s ransom arrived and it was still frozen. The chicken soup was in the shape of a ball in a plastic bag. We had to borrow some scissors ( have you ever tried to acquire a pair of sharp scissors in a theme park? For fairly obvious reasons they are a rarity) And then while we were trying to gain access to our food ( you are only allocated a limited amount of time to occupy your table and eat your food so it was a bit like that old game show, Beat the Clock from Sunday Night at the London Palladium and we were never going to be winning contestants ) Jake showed up.
The thing about these people dressed as cartoon characters at Disneyland is that they aren’t allowed to speak. I suppose it would rather spoil the illusion if Micky or Winnie had a Brooklyn accent . So they can only make gestures. Now, come out from under that table little boy, is quite a hard gesture to make and Sam ( our now blogging grandson…. he resumed normal service yesterday… check it out, it was very funny ) had dived for cover the minute Jake arrived and wouldn’t come out. Jake tried everything he could. You might have thought that our food would have defrosted by the time he gave up, but it hadn’t. I just hope the actor inside the costume kept his job, because they are paid to keep the customer satisfied and knowing Disneyland there were probably security cameras everywhere. Big Brother was always watching, bit like the America of today.
Though who would want Trump as their big brother? Or any kind of relative? My wife reckons I’ve no chance of ever renewing my visa to go to the States after these blogs, but not sure I am going to try to get back any day soon. Or anywhere for that matter! Trump said today that the Chinese were trying to stop him getting re-elected. Donald, I’ve got news for you. Everybody is trying to stop you getting re-elected. But, don’t let that stop you trying. You do provide us with hours of endless amusement and me with material for my blog.
Not that I am running short of material. I mean another food parcel arrived today. My wife asked the man to take it back. He said it had my name on it. I reckon after some of things I’ve written in this blog that there is a bullet with my name on it too, but I don’t want that delivered either. Eventually, he did put it back in his van and I will have yet another go at cancelling on their website. It’s a bit like trying to cancel a subscription to Reader’s Digest. Once they have you, then you are theirs for life.
My garage sale isn’t going too well. Not a single bid, whilst Chris Evans has raised over a quarter of a million pounds. He’s got very high bids for a working Olympic Torch, a French antique bed, a 1947 tractor ( can’t believe that fitted into his garage ) and a 50’s pinball table. I am going to have to rethink my own auction items. My wife suggested I bid for one of his and then put it in our own garage which is a good bit of lateral thinking.
Ooh! That’s the intro to the two ‘oo’s bit. It seems to be successful in business you do need to have those two letters in your name. Yahoo, Google, Deliveroo, Boohoo, Winnie the Pooh, Cartoon, itself for that matter, Tattoo Parlours in the vicinity of footballers and as far as my little grand-daughter Cara is concerned just ‘ poo ‘ If Tesco changed its name to Tescoo I am sure its sales would rocket. I am available to anybody for marketing advice.
I got some free publicity by Rebbetzin ( that’s Rabbi’s wife ) Ilana when she did a talk on line yesterday about gefilte fish ( my friend Daphne who likes a good mention here is a big Ilana fan …. Hope you are reading her blog, Ilana’s that is not Daphne’s who has no time as she is doing some incredible work making food to be delivered to the poor people trapped in the Townships… and improving her Bridge on line ) ) Ilana re-told the fish head story I related yesterday. I expect to receive some fish heads on my door step which is better than a horse’s head in my bed, I suppose. As for gefilte fish there was a line in a play I saw in New York years ago which said that only the Jews could chop up a lot of different fish and turn it into another fish in the shape of Gefilte Fish. I really don’t recommend it, by the way, def not my fav food. Although I see The Gate one of fav veggie restaurants is recommencing deliveries from its St John’s Wood branch from today ( did I say any of this yesterday? Having reached the big 4 0 my memory is failing too )
And there we have it again. Run out of space ( not really I’ve a fair bit of my third page yet to fill ) but I have run out of time. It’s my day to dust and hoover the through room ( dining and tv in case you have forgotten or even interested ) My wife took a photo when I first did it and if I she does it again and if I can work out a way to add it to my blog then I will ( I had a request for a Wanda in London pic yesterday as well… she’s very happy and making lots of new friends and now is beginning to bark with an English accent )
Have a good weekend and a good Sabbath whichever day you choose to observe and if we are all spared then I will see you on Sunday morning